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I love this emoticon <(") - that's a penguin!

To the moon

"A summer's disregard

A broken bottle top

And a one man's soul

They follow each other

On the wind ya' know

'Cause they got nowhere to go

That's why I want you to know"

I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a change.
Change is the hardest thing to to because, it is not easy to change who you really are. But when you do realize that things are needed to change, then change for the better. This is what I have realized these past months and especially this sembreak.
As I look through myself in the mirror, I couldn't see clearly of who I am. I might have lost track of myself and straying to a wrong path, but it might be just that I am a little confused and pondering what life really means. Things happen for a reason, I believe. Might be for good or for worse, these little experiences help us gain experience and lessons to be learned. A friend starting to drift away, families breaking apart, trust fading away, mind not working properly... these are some of the things that might be the common problem of straying away from the path we are supposed to choose. If things need to be settled, settle with yourself first, know what is wrong and what is right, understand others so that they could understand what you are going through too. A little change in personality could be a really big help to people around us. That's partly a case for me, no one is telling me what I have done wrong, so it might be a bit hard, but I am still managing.
We need to reflect on our mistakes. You are not the only one who is stupid enough to make mistakes again and again in life. I too am that stupid person. I keep making mistakes. Once you've recognized your mistakes, it's easy enough to correct them. Though time and persistence will tell if we do exactly change. But the next question is: what happens when we change, is it for the better of for the worse? It's a gamble we have to choose ourselves but when we pick the right paths, it will always surely be rewarding.
Expectations: we always have those don't we? That will never run out. We always want others to meet our expectations, but in turn, we haven't met their expectations as well. That's cruel, but that is how our world was made.
There is always hope that things will be better. I have to fix myself, care about my body and studies too, but there are other important things that needs to be done too. Because I won't give up on us and I am still looking up even if gravity pulls us down, it will never stop me from reaching the moon.
Let's believe, Hope, and Pray that things will definitly be brighter. Though 2012 hasn't been friendly, it's still not the end of the world. Thank You. 'Til next time again. Peace. Apollo out. :-)

2nd Sem

Yo. Still alive, still breathing, but almost down on my knees crawling. It's just been the start of the 2nd semester and things have gone on a roller coaster. 

To sum up the subjects that I'm taking up this semeseter are:

1) Electromagnetics - is back just like Vectors, "Too Fast, Too Furious", when you copy, you can't listen, when you listen, you can't understand a word because maam is like a GShG -7.62 Gatling gun. 

2) Dynamics - Papang is back with his usual moody self, while being hilarious & scary both at the same time, he just wants to retire, that's all but the school won't ever let him go. It's kinda like Mechanics but for now, it seems ok. Dealing with Free-Falling-Bodies & Physics

3) Deformable - Ouch. Man... New teacher, Engr. Ocate. What to say, he speaks softly but man, his tests are a pain. His catch phrase is "Okay lang?" "Makita nyo ni sa likod, Okay lang?" "Te, Okay lng?"

4) Electronics II - Engr. Alguidano is the same as ever. Kinda hates night class but has no choice because that's out schedule.

5) Circuits II - Dr./Engr. Java is the man of the semester again! Ouch. Super ouch. 2nd day of classes, we got locked out for being late when it was still 7am on our watch, the reason, his watch was 15 minutes advanced than ours. So, we had to adjust again. He's a bit fast and has too many shortcuts, so it's kinda hard to understand Phasors & the like.

6) Advanced Math - Engr. Catadman-Pascual, the newly married professor in the engineering building right here. She came back after a 5 year absence from teaching. So far, she's been a good teacher, very likely to replace Engr. Lacson's teachin qualities. So far so good.

7) Human Resource Development (HRD) - is a minor course in engineering focusing on the self-confidence and self-acceptance of the individual, to put him on the right track & keep his goals in sight. Too bad that it's Engr. Ojario who's teaching us this class, no body's gonna listen to his gags, he's just too much of a goofball, but still a good teacher. Random grades here we come again.

That was the list of my subjects this semester.

Congratulations!

Hello there! I went back online to congratulate you on the job very well done. i know you definitely deserve it, especially for the hard work you have done. I am really so proud of you. I really really am. Happy Happy gd ko. Celebrate ta ha? Thank You. I believe & keep faith. We can do this right. Be strong. Focus. Let God help us and let him do his work. Miracles happen to those who deserve it, and you really really do deserve the best! :-)

Happy Birthday! :)

Happy Happy Birthday, Jesyl Garielle V. Gubatanga!

Another year, another turning point. There are many things that we still have to improve. And I believe that we could improve ourselves and to grow much stronger. Keep Living happily, Laughing hard, and Loving more & more. Things will be only getting tougher as we get a bit older, but we gain more skills and grow wiser at the same time.

We have been through a lot and I am really thankful for that. Keep Safe. Always Focus & Study hard! You'll become one heck-of-a doctor someday. Keep your faith, virtues and goals. Thank You, Bestie. I'm here to support you all the way. Always. God Bless.  :-)

August...

It has been another month since last posting a blog. A lot of things happened within a month. It feels like things are tearing apart. Well, it's practically my fault though, maybe. I am just so confused right now and everything is not going that well. Other than the Engineering team winning it's 3rd straight football game, it has been practically very busy especially U-Week is just around the corner.

There are so many things to do, so many things to make right. I know the times are bad. We just need to think it all over and find ourselves at where we are. Things are indeed tough, and it just keeps on getting tougher. We can survive this though. :)

Only you view my blog though, I left a letter on Lolo's house the other day. I hope you recieved it along with the usb. We need to talk it through, but let us do our priorities first. Let's make things right. I really need to make things right. :-)

Saturday

Hey guys I just have to pour out what I'm feeling right now.

I am not feeling well. Not feeling well at all. I don't know if things have changed for the worst. I don't know what to expect. One day I can't sleep of being excited that that day would be really great and we would end up having a really great time. But things happened and made it worse. I really feel bad. I am pissed off at myself, not at you. I am honestly thinking that I am not the best person in the world. I know I am not. You are always on my mind, every second of every minute of everyday. I couldn't sleep knowing that we are on the rough side again. It's not your fault. It's practically and literally mine. I burdened these on myself and you have every right to get angry at me. I try. I did try and I still keep on trying. I want to make it work even though it is hard and is getting harder. I do give an effort to make you happy. I just don't know if it worked. I still am trying to figure out how to show a lot more of my effort to you. It's just that sometimes I feel that you're stepping on me and the efforts I give to make you happy. You deserve to be happy and I am willing to sacrifice myself to make you happy. I guess I don't fill that expectation. I'm a lovesick fool still trying my hardest to make you notice me. Right now, I am not flying high and won't ever go to the moon. I want things to the way it were when we are not always fighting.

It's my fault that I still haven't healed from the flu. I should also say it's over fatigue of playing soccer. But... I love playing soccer. Eventhough I know I am not good at it. I play because I could feel the breeze when I am running, I could breathe and focus on only one thing. There, I could think clearly. I always give it my all because I know you love the sport too and I really want to make you proud and happy. I don't have too many accomplishments, I'm not smart, I'm not a leader. I'm trying to act that I am, but I truly am not. I don't have the guts. I always tend to hesitate at the biggest moments. 4th year, the game-winning goal for Westbridge. The ball barely touched my head infront of the goal. I hesitated to jump and the ball went to me. If I just jumped, we would have won the game. I didn't. It still traumatizes me and makes me realize that I fade off every big moment. Maybe I am just a feeler, feeling that I am Mr. Everything. But I tell you, I will never be Mr. Everything. I'm Mr. Nothing. I am no good. I feel really negative.

But after taking a breather, I realized that I see my flaws and I want to make myself better. I still have one thing left though. I still have my Hope. That things will be better and happier. I know it will be. It's another hurdle to jump over, but we will be happier and a better US.

I'm sorry for the tantrums. So much mixed emotions and uncertainty filled up inside my head and it's beginning to get clearer. :-)

I know you're looking out for me. And I thank you for that. I hope I do look out more for myself. :-)

...cause I, think you're from another world.

and I couldn't love another girl.

'Cause you make me feel like I'm intoxicated (with milk and your love)